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Society insists that black folks are different from all others races. This has been going on for centuries and is no different today. We are constantly categorized, separated, exploited and have to be “accepted” in certain circles. A late childhood pastor once said that the more we try to be like those other folks, the more we take on their abominable behavior. He was right. Back in the day when we were being discriminated against, spat upon, and treated like animals you never heard about a black mother killing her babies, or a black jumping from a 50 story building, or a black man slaughtering his entire family or killing his pregnant girlfriend. We cared for each other. We helped raise each other’s children. We helped other hard working families in distress.

We have a man shortage in the black community. A lot of our men are in jail, dead, in the streets, or simply just don’t want to be with us. Some rather date other races. All of this creates strong competition with our fellow white and black dating sites, and with women of other races.

In this article, I used the word “they” and “their” when I speak of Black women and men, not because I deny my race, but because I no longer feel bound by some of the issues we face in the Black community. I’ve taught myself to learn from these issues, separate myself from them, and do better. I wish there was something more I could do to help my culture, but it’s so difficult because so many Black people get offended by this kind of information, especially if it’s coming from their own. I’ll never forget the backlash Bill Cosby faced with him speaking out, and writing his book Come On People!

Heroes is hot. The buzz about the show last season was terrific, and the anticipation for the next season is electric. Last season, Trekkies got an extra jolt of excitement when George Takei, formerly Sulu on Star Trek, showed up as Hiro’s father. I am a veteran trekkie, my younger husband is second generation trekkie (from the show in syndication,) but he could hardly stay in his seat, he was so excited.

The term “angry Black woman” is very derogatory, but it is used to describe many Black women who seem to be irritated or angry about life for no apparent reason. But I think if we all took a close look at the Black community, and watch the way white women black men dating site treat Black women, we will see why Black women are so “angry.” They have to carry the weight of the whole family on their own shoulders, with little to no help.

These wealthy black men that date white women, or some other race are using these women as trophies. It almost like they feel they have to reward themselves for becoming successful–and a white woman is the reward.

Since we’re thought of as “different” than let’s be different, so that one day we can be first and not last. Say to yourself every once and while “I am my people,” Meaning, if all of our people were just like you, would we be better off or worse?